I know just enough about yoga to be dangerous. I’ve learned that by patient effort, I can find myself stretched into a pose I never could have acheived in one movement. But more importantly, I’ve learned the value of breathing.
Through breath practice, I’ve discovered that when I am anxious, all my breathing is in my upper chest, spreading tension through my shoulders, arms, neck, and jaw. The breaths are panting and shallow. The condition of my mind affects my body. There is no peace.
I have learned to “belly breathe”–to consiously move the breath into the belly. To relax the jaw, the shoulders, the chest; to breathe deeply and slowly.
To breathe . . . ebb and flow, receive and release. To be aware that all of life is coming and going, arriving and departing, holding and letting go. And breathing through the whole process.
Nothing stays. Ultimately, all things must be released. And I must breathe through it all.
And the God who has set into being the automatic breathing in and breathing out of my body, is soverign over my life as well.
Breathe.
I believe in breathing. ha ha. Actually, as part of my spiritual search, I’ve read many books on meditation, and though I still have my “monkey mind”, I definitely have found value in breathing. I have come to see that when I am anxious, I breathe short panting-breaths in my upper chest. This breathing is accompanied by tight shoulders and neck.
When I discover I am breathing in this fashion, I pause, straighten up; and begin deep, slow breaths; moving the breath into my belly. After a couple minutes of this breathing, all the tension has gone out of my shoulders and neck; and I continue my day in balance.
I like to belly breathe when I pray. It helps my mind expand.
The other day as I was sitting in my prayer chair, breathing; I reflected upon the story of the little fish asking the big fish where the ocean was, only to be told she was in it.
When I pray, I tend to reach outward toward my immense and limitless God. But as I thought of the little fish, I remembered that I’ve been taught that within each of us is the divine spark of God. So, God is within and without. Like the little fish taking in the ocean, I breathe in God. Creation comes to me on the inbreath. But Creation is already in me through the divine spark; so when I breathe in, God comes to God; and when I breath out, God intermingles with God.
I never liked the”In with the good air, out with the bad”. I love the idea of God always with me, feeding my very cells with His energy, strengthening me, filling me.
Now when I pause to become aware of my breathing, I am aware that God is always with me–deep within, and out to the fathomless reaches.
Awesome God.
“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you . . .” 2 Timothy 1:6a
It is a wonderful and miraculous thing to see the Holy Spirit come alive in a person. To watch a human mind open up to the possibility that there is something more than what can be seen and touched. An awakening awareness that there is a whole new world that could open to us. And it begins with a “yes”–a consent to the Divine.
I remind people that all Mary of Nazareth had to do was say “Yes!”, and God did the rest. And nothing has changed. We say “yes”, and the Holy Spirit becomes our guide and teacher, leading us to people or writings or ponderings that open up our spiritual minds in ways that we could never imagine.
Much of my spiritual walk is an ongoing “Yes” to the working of God in my life– a giving-over of permission to God’s will. I seek to fan the flame through spiritual readings and meditations; through Godly conversations, and through prayer. But equally, I surrender to the mystery. I consent to not knowing or understanding God’s way. I trust–and I pray for trust.
And it all unfolds. The mysterious unfolding . . .
I have a favorite Internet site that allows me to put a jig-saw puzzle together. I am able to upload my own pictures or use theirs; and am allowed to have the puzzle be as easy or as complicated as I choose.
As any jig-saw puzzle aficionado will tell you, there are moments of surprise when a puzzle piece that can’t be identified suddenly becomes very clear once it is put in its place. The missing piece goes in and it all becomes so clear–I can’t imagine how I could not see it.
God, help me to walk in trust that it will all make sense someday.
Sometimes it is really difficult to approach God. So many people seem to have an idea of what a Christian is, or what their God wants them to be, and they try to live up to that idea. They perform and pretend, and hope that they are acceptable–meanwhile they are missing out on a genuine relationship with God. We hear that Jesus is coming to visit–He’s knocking on the door! And we run around like maniacs cleaning up the front room. ”Just a minute, Jesus–I’ll be right there!” and we shove things in the closet. We don’t get it that Jesus is there to help us clean up our house.
I could not begin to have a genuine relationship with Jesus until I began to see myself as the little lost sheep and Jesus as the Good Shepherd. I had, by my own efforts, gotten myself so lost. I could not save myself. I had no strength. I couldn’t be anything other than what I was; and that was not enough. I could no longer pretend that I was able to fix myself. A woman at a retreat gave me a wonderful picture of the Good Shepherd coming to save a sheep perched on a precipice. The picture was my story! And the Shepherd was coming! I wept over that picture; and began to hope. Then I found a wonderful book by Phillip Keller, which had four of his bestselling works in one volume. One of them was “A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23″. Another one was “A Shepherd Looks at the Good Shepherd and His Sheep”. This book was tremendously helpful to me. I’m a sheep–that’s what I am. He’s the Shepherd–that’s what He is. I belong to Him. He takes care of me. This works.
So I begin what I hope will be my life’s work. After a 2-year internship in spiritual direction, I will be working at a small church providing spiritual direction. If they come.